Kettle calling the pot white

by Stephen Tall on July 15, 2006

The Guardian’s New Labour apologist-in-chief, Martin Kettle, is in sprightly form today, vigorously defending Tony Blair’s Government from all-comers.

It’s worth reading in full, if only to get annoyed with; but for those who, quite reasonably, would rather be sunning themselves today than spend their time with Mr Kettle up the Prime Ministerial posterior, here’s my condensed version:

Sleaze-schmeaze… none of it matters, even if it’s true. Which it isn’t, though it might be. Anyway, the Tories and Lib Dems are even worse. Except they’re stupider. Prescott? Utter failure, but so what? – he’s only Deputy Prime Minister. So, thank God for Tony. He’s ace. I love Tony. But the public are fickle. Bastards. I wouldn’t trust ‘em, y’know. Which is why I vote New Labour.

Mr Kettle’s article appears on Comment Is Free, and prompted one poster to suggest:

Mr Kettle, save yourself writing time by cut-and-pasting this Britney Spears’ quote to use for your next article:”Honestly, I think we should just trust our President in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that.”