My 5 favourite Tory Taliban Alternative Queen’s Speech Bills

by Stephen Tall on June 21, 2013

Guido’s got the list of the 42 Bills the fruitcake/loony part of the Tory party are convinced would propel them to victory in 2015. Here are my top 5 personal favourites:

The state should have the power to set dress code, apparently…

1. Face Coverings (Prohibition) Mr Philip Hollobone
Bill to prohibit the wearing of certain face coverings; and for connected purposes.

But why stop at dress codes? Let’s give the state the power of life or death over an individual as well while we’re at it…

10. Capital Punishment Mr Philip Hollobone
Bill to allow for capital punishment for certain offences.

Naturally state power can also be bonkers benign…

18. Margaret Thatcher Day Mr Peter Bone
Bill to make provision that the annual Bank Holiday Monday in late August be known as Margaret Thatcher Day.

The state should also set itself up as a moral arbiter of other people’s relationships…

20. Married Couples (Tax Allowance) Mr Peter Bone
Bill to make provision for a tax allowance for married couples.

And have the power to define whether a couple’s love is right or wrong…

23. Same Sex Marriage (Referendum) Mr Peter Bone
Bill to make provision for a referendum on whether same sex marriage should be allowed.

That’s the modern Tory party for you. Voters are free to be who they like. As long as Peter Bone agrees with their choice that is.