Would an infinite number of monkeys be able to write an accurate story for the Telegraph?

by Stephen Tall on March 28, 2011

To be honest, I’m starting to feel sorry for the Telegraph’s political journalists. It must get quite tricky week after week coming up with new half-truths to try and stretch into a story that even their Coalition-hating editors won’t spike for being too thin.

This weekend brought new ‘revelations’ from the reliably inaccurate Melissa Kite and Patrick Hennessy that the Lib Dems are (in any order you like) about to: change our name; no-con Nick Clegg; install Chris Huhne as leader; trigger a general election; insist Col Gadaffi is brought into the cabinet. Okay, I made that last one up… but you get the picture.

The reality, of course, is nothing like, as Lib Dem blogger Charlotte Henry notes:

… the story is designed to do nothing more than overplay the discomfort of some elements of the party, hence the Telegraph’s citing of the SDP in their claim that the super-new-rebranded-not-Liberal-Democrats will have “Social” in their title. It is, as Nick Clegg might put it, “utter bilge”.

Memo to Ms Kite and Mr Hennessy: keep on trying, eventually you’re bound to stumble upon a genuine story if you write enough words.

Memo to Lib Dems: remember there’s only one thing worse than being talked about in the Torygraph…